On Beginning
“Who in the world am I? Ah, that's the great puzzle.” - Lewis Carroll
I’ve always considered myself a deeply introspective person. As a child, I remember staying up late, unable to fall asleep because my mind was racing with existential thoughts. Questions about the why and how of our world and society fascinated me in that magical way only childhood curiosity can.
And yet, over the years, I feel like I’ve drifted away from that sense of wonderment that once defined me. The realities (read: difficulties) of growing up transformed this beautiful curiosity into anxieties and neuroses. I fear I’ve strayed far from the path that once felt so natural and meaningful.
This series of short essays is an intentional act to regain some of that feeling as I exit my twenties. A collection of thoughts, musings, and the occasional incoherent rant, On: A Collection of Essays is the medium through which I hope to speak my mind—about the person I am now, and perhaps more importantly, the person I’m becoming.
I’m writing primarily to one person: myself, ten years from now. Will that version of Chetan, well into his late thirties, still hold these same thoughts, fears, and questions? Maybe the things that feel so heavy and consuming in the present will, in hindsight, become fragments of the past—trivial worries lost to time. Or maybe they’ll have grown stronger, more defined, shaped by the experiences that followed.
Either way, I welcome the opportunity before me. To explore oneself is both an incredibly profound experience and a laborious endeavor. The beauty of the human experience lies in these shades of gray—in the undulating hills of our emotional lives.
To the future version of me, may you continue to have a zest for life and find your peace and comfort. With each passing day, month, and year, you edge closer to becoming the person you’ve always wanted to be.